What? This isn’t correct? Well maybe I should do some research. Because I like stonewashed jeans so so much, I am taking my best guess below as to how it is done. First, you get some jeans. Jeans, for those that don’t know, are a type of pants or trousers made of denim. As a point of clarification, Jeans are also called “dungarees” by people who smell like mothballs and bengay. Denim is a rugged cotton twill textile, in which the weft passes under two or more warp threads. This weaving produces the familiar diagonal ribbing identifiable on the reverse of the fabric, which distinguishes denim from cotton duck. Jeans are often blue because denim itself is traditionally blue, but stonewashed jeans can be any color at all. Stonewashed jeans could be black or if you like showtunes and wine spritzers your jeans can be white.

Best I can tell, jeans are American as apple pie. But the cheapest jeans are made in China and Thailand so save yourself some money and buy your jeans in bulk from the poverty-stricken Asian country of your choice. You might find more info on buying jeans online.

After you get the jeans, they must be stonewashed. The hard part is finding and purchasing a big dryer with a cylindrical drum inside in which you can place the jeans and the stones. In fact, it would probably be more convenient to run jeans over with a car than to fill a dryer with rocks and jeans. How many people have a large dryer to ruin by putting stones in it? In contrast, many many people have a car. But if you ran over your jeans with a car repeatedly would you call them car-washed jeans? I digress.

This industrial stone-washing dryer will set you back about 6 or 7 thousand bucks. But hey – the more expensive the jeans, the better right? Once you have the big dryer to put the jeans and stone into, you then must get the stones. You can use pretty much any igneous or volcanic rock you want. Some people use pumice. I prefer to use a mix of corundum and emeralds but I’m fancy that way.

Once you place the jeans and the stones inside the dryer. Turn it on. As the cylinder inside the dryer spins, the tumbling stones ride up the paddles inside the drum and fall back down onto the jean fabric. The denim becomes beaten and weathered. Voila, you have Stonewashed jeans and are ready for that Bon Jovi concert.

Find out how to make your own Stonewashed Jeans

What? This is wrong? Maybe I should do some research, because I like stonewashed jeans so much, below is the real story as to how stone-washed jeans are made.

Start by getting some jeans. Jeans, for those that don’t know, are pants or trousers made of denim. As a point of clarification, Jeans are also called “dungarees” by people who smell like soup and watch Matlock. Denim is a rugged cotton twill textile, in which the weft passes under two or more warp threads. This weaving produces the diagonal ribbing identifiable on the reverse of the fabric. The ribbing distinguishes denim from cotton duck. Quack? Jeans are usually blue because denim itself is usually blue, but stone-washed jeans can be any color at all. Stone-washed jeans could be black or red or white or canary or periwinkle.

Best I can tell, jeans are as American as going to war for oil. But the cheapest jeans are made in Indonesia and Thailand so save yourself some money and buy your jeans in bulk from the poverty-stricken Asian country of your choice. You might find more info on buying jeans online.

After you select your jeans, they must be washed with a bunch of stones. Obviously! The hard part is finding and purchasing a big dryer with a cylindrical drum inside in which you can place the jeans and the stones. This industrial stone-washing dryer will set you back about $10,000 bucks. Gotta spend money to make money. Now that you have a large industrial dryer to put the jeans and stones into, you then must get the perfect stones. You can use pretty much any igneous or volcanic rock you want. Some people use pumice. I prefer to use fossilized sequoia trees to give my jeans that woodsy aroma.

Turn on the industrial dryer after you put the jeans and the stones inside. As the cylinder inside the dryer spins, the tumbling stones ride up the paddles inside the drum and fall back down onto the jean fabric. The denim will become distressed.

Now you have homemade Stonewashed jeans and you’re ready for that Bret Michaels concert.

Find out how to make your own Stonewashed Jeans just like the ones you see in Stonewashed Movie.

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